Blog Revival

Our family is wrapping up a very busy season of life. OK, it's mostly me. I am wrapping up a busy season of life by stepping out of paid ministry at our church. Two and a half years ago I was asked to consider working part time (10-15 hours) in Kids Connect on Sunday mornings overseeing our birth through preschool classes. At first I said, "Absolutely not. I do not need one more thing to juggle." But as I thought and prayed about it more, I realized that I really wanted to say yes. I don't know if it was wise. Working two jobs was definitely a stretch, even though they were both flexible. There were definitely times when I felt pulled in too many directions.

Here is what I do know. We had been continually praying for God to provide for us. I was offered a job where my employer said they would work around my current commitments doing something that fit my gifting and was meaningful. I knew that I couldn't handle it on my own, but as I prayed and sought God's direction these are the verses I believe He gave me:

"I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps."
Jeremiah 10:23

"If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand."
Psalm 37:23-24

"A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way?"
Proverbs 20:24

I wrote in my journal, "God I feel like taking the job at CCC Sarpy makes no sense on the one hand. On the other hand, I really want to do it."

So I said, "Yes." It didn't make sense. I was pretty sure I would fail unless God's hand was leading. I've struggled and wrestled with feeling like I was not "enough" in just about every facet of my life from ministry work, to my full time job to motherhood to being a wife. I kept waiting for the hatchet to fall, but no one would fire me. Instead I have experienced grace everywhere.

The grace of a husband who took on laundry folding duties without being asked.

The grace of a boss who says out loud, "Thank God you came to work for me."

The grace of a boss who says, "There is always "more" you can do in ministry so good leaders say no."

The grace of volunteers who say, "We like working with you." (and I fill in...despite my lack of organization or other good qualities that I feel that I should have)

And a thousand other graces that have come in this season.

At one point during this journey I was really feeling like I could not maintain this pace, but when I would read God's Word he would take me to Nehemiah and I would read about the workers who by day would build the wall and by night become soldiers to fight off the enemy. And I would be strengthened again to continue to do what God had for me in this season.

I will share more about this season coming to an end because I am reviving my blog and have committed to myself to publish something every day. This is one of the things I feel like I must do with my "extra" time. It might not be pretty or polished, but I will push publish whether it's ready or not.

Happy New Year!

We had a pretty uneventful Christmas...snow everywhere and most of our plans were canceled. One thing we did do before the storm began was host a birthday party for Jesus. We had 6 boys (including Roy and Rex) after school for cake, games, craft and Christmas video to focus on the reason for the season. I think everyone had a great time except for the games, which resulted in tears and debates over who cheated. I mean, who knew that "Pin Mary on the Donkey" and "Hot Baby Jesus" could cause so much controversy? But then again, we're dealing with 6 highly competitive boys.

Speaking of competitive boys, Bo is trying to beat Roy and Rex's scores on Wii fit. Thanks Aunt Bree for the game. And thanks Grandpa Joe and Lori for the Wii. We're having a good time with it.

Wii wish you a happy new year everyone!!

Holy Moley...she's a girl!

We have a ton of boys in our family, but we finally have a girl cousin. My brother, Bryan, and his wife Amy have a baby girl who we finally got to meet when we went to Buffalo a few weeks ago. She is a precious little thing and my boys wanted to hold her of course. They've been asking lately for a baby sister, but that is not happening (as far as I am concerned) so they will have to settle for a cousin. I wasn't able to catch Roy in a shot, but I just love this one of Rex. He is a ham and a half....hmmm....I wonder who he takes after?

23 Diapers--now that's protection!!

I had to post these pictures, as weird as they may be. This is the scene I found this morning when I woke the boys up: Both Roy and Rex were on the top bunk (Roy's bed) fast asleep. Aaawww, how cute right? Then I noticed what Rex was wearing...a mass of pull-ups from his waist to his knees. I could not imagine why on earth he would have on so many diapers. He couldn't even move his legs, but there he was sleeping soundly as if the giant diaper cast were as comfortable as jammies.

I did what every good mom does when she finds her kids doing something bizarre--started taking pictures and posting them on the internet! (That's the beauty of living in this century--we don't have to wait a decade to submit them to the high school year book, we can begin the public embarrassment immediately.) Bo was out in the living room so I whispered, "Honey, you've got to come in and see this." We had a really good laugh, which woke up the kids. Not a bad way to wake up--both parents in fits of laughter standing next to your bed snapping photos. I can think of worse.

Anyway, we definitely needed an explanation so here's what Roy told us. After we put the boys to bed, Rex decided that he'd like to sleep in Roy's bed with him. Roy, concerned about Rex's bed wetting issue, said, "No way! You are NOT going to pee in my bed." Rex was persistent enough that Roy relented under the condition that Rex put on an additional pull-up "just in case." Rex decided to comply, but took it a few steps further. He put on every pull up he could find--23 to be exact. What could Roy say to that? There was no risk of leaking with a giant diaper leg.

A few amazing observations from mom...
1. How does one get to the top bunk when you can't move your legs to climb a ladder? (Roy says that Rex hopped.)
2. How does one sleep wrapped tightly from the waist down?
3. When we got to the bottom of the diaper stack, not one was wet! Now that is amazing--23 diapers and all of them dry.

Never a dull moment in the Buettenback household! Thanks for sharing a laugh with us...

Figuring it out....

OK, I finally decided to figure out how to post photos to my blog. Here is a recent one of the kids (although not that recent, since Rex gave up his mohawk awhile ago). This had to have been around Easter time because that's when they were really into Bionicles. Now it's all about Webkinz. I can't keep up--their interests seem to change daily. Rex looked at this picture and said, "I'm sweet." And yes, he means sweet as in awesome, not adorable. He is both though...that's why he can get away with a mohawk. Otherwise he'd just be kind of crazy lookin'.

Last week they both started swim lessons and loved it. This week, however, they're tired of it. On Monday, Rex's teachers had to bribe him with a popsicle just to get him in the water. She held him in one arm and held the popsicle out with the other one as he swam around chasing it...it was like watching an animal trainer at an aquarium, only they knew raw fish wouldn't work on him. Roy is trying to catch up with his friend Christian so he has motivation enough to keep going. As timid as he is, the competitiveness takes over and drives the fear away. Roy has passed 2 levels in 2 short weeks and yesterday he jumped off the diving board for the first time. Today is the last day and I think we're all pretty glad about it. Next week is VBS so we'll see how they do with it. I'm trying to keep them busy this summer so as not to completely feed their Webkinz addiction.

I'll try to post more, but I've tried before too so you know you can't trust me when I say that.

What I say and what I do....

I say I like to write. I have a blog. Do I write? No.

So how much do I really like it then if I don't often do it? Don't we end up doing what we really love to do?

I used to think that was the case.......that if you really loved something you would just do it. You wouldn't be able to help yourself. Like people who run and love it. I imagine that they wake up and just have to run 6 miles as much as someone else just has to wake up and take a shower or eat breakfast.

I'm reevaluating that theory. I don't know if it's true anymore. I'm starting to wonder if sometimes we can like doing something that is hard, or takes time or a certain kind of energy...and I'm wondering if just because you like something does it mean that you can't just coast into some kind of slump where the ordinary tasks of life just start to take over and eventually feed you some lie about how you must just like ordinary life better than the thing you might be drawn to. A lie about how you must not really like that thing anyway because if you really did you would just do it.

And I'll bet that the person who loves to run probably wouldn't mind sleeping in. And I'll bet it's hard sometimes to run 6 miles. And it certainly does take time and energy.

I started thinking about this today because several people commented about an article I wrote for our MOPS newsletter...and I remembered that I do like to write and that people have told me that they think I'm good at it. Then I sit down and look at the bookmark to my blog and I feel like I've neglected it too long and I wouldn't have enough time to really write something that anyone would care about reading....and it would just be easier to check my facebook page and see what everyone else is writing about. It's kind of equivalent to pulling the covers over my head instead of getting up and running.

I can't believe I'm using a running analogy. I can't even relate to it...I should check with someone who runs to verify if what I'm saying is even close to accurate. I won't though...I'll let someone call me out on it in their comments, if they so choose....

In the mean time, I've done it. It took time and a little bit of concentration to put down a few thoughts. But there it is. No big whoop. It's true, I do like it....I've said it and I've done it. I feel better now.

Are we "settled in" yet?

Gosh, I just looked at my blog and reread my post from 6 months ago. I promised to write again once we got settled in to our new place. I guess it has taken a really long time for that to happen...and even now I feel like this place, this stage of life is still new. So here's the story:

About six months ago we were looking pretty hard for a new, cheaper place to live. Turns out that when you have student loans as big as a mortgage payment it's actually impossible to pay a mortgage (or rent for that matter). So we thought we'd scale back and rent an apartment for awhile until we...I don't know...die. That's how it felt at least when we tried to even fathom how on earth we would crawl out of the hole we dug for ourselves.

In the mean time, Bo thought I should apply for a job he saw in the want ads for a Resident Manager position at an apartment complex. Initially I was very reluctant about the whole thing...mainly because I love being a stay-at-home mom and not having to figure out day care and all that goes into being a working mom. I just never thought I would be able to juggle both...and I like my kids too...even when they're making me crazy. However, we learned that there is such a thing as having the best of both worlds. The Resident Manager job is a work from home position. No day care. All the crazy. Perfect.

So I applied and they decided to take a chance on us. The packing and simplifying began. Moving from a 4 bedroom house with family room to a 2 bedroom, 1000 square foot apartment with a kitche-offi-dini-livingroom is no easy task. We participated in several garage sales (thank you girlfriends for letting me freeload and bring my junk to your garage sales) and got very acquainted with Craig's List. Purging feels good...especially those boxes that we moved all the way from Buffalo and never opened. (Sorry good friends and family who helped us move--we completely wasted your time and muscles on those boxes.)

What we didn't know is that the property that we moved to was...."in transition"....you could say. I have stories to share but will fast forward to present. To make a long story short, big mess, lots of vacancies, suspected drug dealer our closest neighbor, long hours, crazy kids, a pang of regret, a bucket of overwhelmed....is NOW...great community, full apartments, more balance, crazy kids (in school every day), no regrets. Love this job. There's hope for us. Our hole feels shallower now.

Phew!

So are we "settled in" yet? This is definitely home for now. I even put one of those sayings on the wall...like actually on the wall...not just on a sign that can be moved to the next place. It says, "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all!"

I think that about sums it up. We're together...(very close together in our kitche-offi-dini-livingroom I might add)...and that's amazing to me. God worked it all out. Thanks God.