This is Shrek's new cute, funny saying. He means, of course, that he is angry at you, but his version of the expression is also usually equally true. You see, when he is angry at you, he is also very likely to do something naughty to you in response, which he learned from his older brother. MJ didn't need anyone to teach him how to retaliate...it came very naturally...so I suppose Shrek would have learned all on his own too. MJ is learning how to control his retaliation. Shrek will come along in his own time. He would probably be doing better if MJ didn't give him so many opportunities to practice...you can only take so much. I'm a younger sister so take it from me. (Although I'm fortunate that my older brother didn't make me too naughty at him.)
OK, I've got some angry/naughty feelings brewing in the next room...not to mention some potential danger. With boys there's usually danger.
Gotta run...
Friday, February 22, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
My right to myself...
It seems that we've been faced with some fairly big decisions the past few weeks--not life or death, world changing, earth shattering ones, but decisions that will have a real impact on our family and others potentially. For example, we are contemplating the sale of some real estate that comes with less-than-ideal terms. We have also decided to find more affordable housing when our lease is up this summer so we are researching options for a local move. I am also considering whether or not to take on a leadership role in a local ministry that would require a significant amount of time and energy on a monthly basis. We are also looking for another source of income and trying to determine what would be best for our family. If Bo finds a per diem job in his field he could make way more money than I ever could for the same amount of hours. But it might be better for me to find something part time so that Bo can spend more time with the kids. Or it might make the most sense to stay home and start home day care...or find some combination. So many decisions to make.
There are pros and cons with each choice...most decisions involve some sort of risk or compromise. At times I feel paralyzed, unable to decide lest the consequences are too adverse or I end up failing or disappointing someone. But if I'm honest, a big factor as I weigh the choices is my own comfort or freedom or happiness. Yes, it's true, I do not wish to be inconvenienced or stifled or overly committed. My big ugly self (I don't mean that in the physical sense in case you are fearing that I have developed some sort of body image complex) wants what I want, when I want it without having to give up anything at all. My time (that's a big one), my space, my freedom, my flexibility, my stuff, ah yes, my stuff, it's all mine....so back off.
So all of this inner turmoil is bubbling up with each new fairly big decision we are facing. Decisions that feel hard, even though I should be able to look at them objectively, because I don't want to actually admit that I'd rather cling to my selfish desires than to do the right thing. But I'm admitting it now, right here on my blog for the whole world to read, if they so choose.
I've been reading My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers again and today's passage says, "'my right to myself' is the very essence of sin." Let's just affirm that if you don't wish to receive a swift kick to the rear end, then stay away from Oswald Chambers. But that about sums it up right? That is the inner turmoil I am experiencing. Sin is always so enticing and causes such angst to let it go. The hardest choices I ever make are really about whom I will choose. Will I fight to the death for the right to myself or will I let that part die and find out how to really live? This whole dying to self thing doesn't seem to get any easier. It's painful every time. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, "Dying to self actually feels like dying." (But the sweet freedom that comes, ah!)
But even as I struggle with this seemingly weighty stuff, I am confronted with the truth that my stuff pales in comparison to many others around me. A friend discovers after many months of illness that she contracted a disease over 20 years ago from a blood transfusion. Another friend's husband is deployed on a super secret mission. She knows not where or for how long, only that she is alone with 4 young kids for an unspecified amount of time. I choose to be thankful for my health...that I have a wonderful husband and two healthy kids. That I have a computer with high speed internet so I can stay connected with far away friends. For a cup of coffee and a quiet house on a Saturday afternoon. I have it really, really good. Don't ever let me convince you otherwise.
So the next time you hear me agonizing over a decision, feel free to ask me what selfishness is keeping me from doing the right thing? You can remind me to go ahead and kill it. You have my permission.
There are pros and cons with each choice...most decisions involve some sort of risk or compromise. At times I feel paralyzed, unable to decide lest the consequences are too adverse or I end up failing or disappointing someone. But if I'm honest, a big factor as I weigh the choices is my own comfort or freedom or happiness. Yes, it's true, I do not wish to be inconvenienced or stifled or overly committed. My big ugly self (I don't mean that in the physical sense in case you are fearing that I have developed some sort of body image complex) wants what I want, when I want it without having to give up anything at all. My time (that's a big one), my space, my freedom, my flexibility, my stuff, ah yes, my stuff, it's all mine....so back off.
So all of this inner turmoil is bubbling up with each new fairly big decision we are facing. Decisions that feel hard, even though I should be able to look at them objectively, because I don't want to actually admit that I'd rather cling to my selfish desires than to do the right thing. But I'm admitting it now, right here on my blog for the whole world to read, if they so choose.
I've been reading My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers again and today's passage says, "'my right to myself' is the very essence of sin." Let's just affirm that if you don't wish to receive a swift kick to the rear end, then stay away from Oswald Chambers. But that about sums it up right? That is the inner turmoil I am experiencing. Sin is always so enticing and causes such angst to let it go. The hardest choices I ever make are really about whom I will choose. Will I fight to the death for the right to myself or will I let that part die and find out how to really live? This whole dying to self thing doesn't seem to get any easier. It's painful every time. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, "Dying to self actually feels like dying." (But the sweet freedom that comes, ah!)
But even as I struggle with this seemingly weighty stuff, I am confronted with the truth that my stuff pales in comparison to many others around me. A friend discovers after many months of illness that she contracted a disease over 20 years ago from a blood transfusion. Another friend's husband is deployed on a super secret mission. She knows not where or for how long, only that she is alone with 4 young kids for an unspecified amount of time. I choose to be thankful for my health...that I have a wonderful husband and two healthy kids. That I have a computer with high speed internet so I can stay connected with far away friends. For a cup of coffee and a quiet house on a Saturday afternoon. I have it really, really good. Don't ever let me convince you otherwise.
So the next time you hear me agonizing over a decision, feel free to ask me what selfishness is keeping me from doing the right thing? You can remind me to go ahead and kill it. You have my permission.
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