Why you are the way you are--Book Review

Ok the title of the book is, The Birth Order Book by Kevin Leman. The subtitle (I don't think that's the word--help me out here) is "Why you are the way you are." The Birth Order Book just doesn't grab you the same way, but when you look for it, that's the title.

Read this book. Really. We all know about birth order theory on some level (first born children are different than middles, last borns, etc.). This book not only explains some of the traits that we pick up as a result of our birth order (and the traits of our siblings and the birth order of our parents), but how relationships can click or collide based on birth order combinations. For example, there's a whole chapter on marriage and which combinations typically have fewer bumps than others. As it turns out Bo, the first born, and I (a functional baby) are a pretty smooth combination. Here I thought we had a great marriage because we are so awesome! In reality, it's because Bo is responsible for both of us! Anyway, interesting stuff.

Mom, dad, read the chapter about first born perfectionism. This chapter gave me lots of insight as to why I drive you both crazy!! Mom, I was having flash backs to our "sewing altercation" where you insisted I tear out the inseam that no one was going to see and I completely lost it. We should have read this book years ago. Dad, I know what you're going to say, "I'm not a first born." But you're the first born male so read it and check it out. Read the part about being a discouraged perfectionist. That could be you. It's definitely me. (At least in my perception...I'm open to other ideas.)

What are you? I'm taking an informal survey of my friends. I think I have a lot of first born friends actually. I'm drawn to their sense of responsibility and purpose and they must be drawn to my CRAZINESS :) Let me know what you are.

Almost a jerk

Yesterday afternoon I was outside with the boys in the front yard when our neighbor's great-grandson (same age as Shrek) came running out to play with us. His mom is pretty young (early 20's) and single. She came over to keep an eye on him and to return the sweatshirt he had borrowed the other day when I realized that the air was cool and our boys, despite their declarations that they were not cold, were indeed cold. So this mom (I'll call her Lucy so that I can stop referring to her as my neighbor's granddaughter), Lucy, and I started chatting. It was sort of a strained conversation since we don't know each other well and don't seem to have much in common. She asked, "So do you guys go out on the weekends?" At first I didn't really know what she was talking about so I started talking about spending family time on weekends and catching up on things around the house and going to watch Bo play softball. I could tell that's not what she was talking about so I grasped for clarification, "Out? You mean...?" She clarified, "You know, out to like the bars and stuff?"

Oh, out to like the bars and stuff. Hmm. Let me think. Well, uh, nope. I started to ramble about being too old for that and not having a babysitter and really wanting to say that it's not really our scene and that going out drinking is a waste of money and time....and then I realized that she was just being nice and in fact, wanted to invite us to go out with her on Saturday night. Ugh! That's when I realized that I was almost a complete JERK! I was about to start some kind of lecture about growing up and being responsible or something when all she was doing was inviting me into her world. And then I was glad that I hadn't postulated the benefits of spending weekends in church! That would surely have negated any invitations...perhaps ever.

So now we have the opportunity to get to know Lucy on her turf, Red Necks happens to be the name of it--yes, welcome to Nebraska! What's your vote? Saturday night at Red Necks? Yes or no?

By Request--Chicken Broccoli Ziti (Non-scorched version)

1 cup margarine
1 cup flour
8 cups milk
salt and pepper to taste
4 cups cooked chicken, chopped
2 pounds broccoli, steamed
2 pounds cheddar cheese, grated
2 boxes ziti (or whatever shaped pasta you'd like) cooked al dente

Make white sauce: melt margarine in a large heavy pan. Add flour stirring constantly. When mixture reaches the boiling point, add milk mixing constantly with a wire whisk. ***This is very important to avoid scorching your white sauce. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT try to multitask here. Just stand there and stir. *** Heat until almost boiling, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Place cooked chicken, broccoli and pasta into four 8x8 inch baking pans. Pour white sauce over all. Sprinkle each pan with grated cheese. Cover pans with foil, label and freeze.

To serve:
Thaw. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes (or when bubbly).

And he's back!

After all that stressing out, Bo's schedule is changing again. His company offered him the chance to work back in Papillion 3 days a week and downtown 2 days a week. (The other option was to stay at the other clinic but only work 4 days a week.) We decided that it would be better to have him close while we can. Of course I have to laugh at myself because I've been so worked up about all the what ifs. Then the moment I surrender and say, "No more worrying about this," everything changes again.

All this has pointed to the fact that I am so wrapped up in my circumstances. Will I ever get over that?!?

Funny kid thoughts...

Shrek was singing a song the other day that I thought was quite brilliant, for a 2-year-old. He sang, "Nobody burped. Yesbody burped. Nobody burped. Yesbody burped." Aside from the fact that he has an obession with bodily functions, I thought it was pretty interesting that he had decided that the opposite of "nobody" is "yesbody." Makes sense to me! I got a good giggle out of it. I hope you do too!

MJ cracks me up too! He woke up not feeling great this morning. Both boys have been struggling with a cough for the last few days, but I guess the symptoms are increasing. I took MJ's temperature this morning to rule out a fever. It was about 98.7 degrees. When I told him it was only barely above normal, he got wide eyed, pretended to lick something and whispered, "Goose feather!" Yesterday, while we were out for a walk, he found a goose feather and licked it. I told him not to do that, which of course was met with a, "Why?" So I explained that geese might have germs and diseases that we don't want to expose our bodies to. Little did I know it would cause great concern that he may indeed have contracted some kind of goose disease. Just when you think your kids aren't listening to you!

On Being "Choked"

We just joined a small group at our new church, although it feels weird to call it "our" church as we're so new and not feeling at home quite yet. Anyway, we were studying the passage of scripture about the sower and the seed and how the various kinds of soil make a huge difference as to how well a plant grows (Matthew 13). I found myself realizing that I have been choking lately. Without even being aware of it, I have allowed the "cares of the world and the pursuit of wealth" choke out the joy of living moment by moment in the presence of God.

Example: Some of you know that Bo was transferred to an office 17 miles from where we are renting a house. We have a one year lease, but I seem to think that I need to worry about whether or not we are going to move at the end of this year. I fret about whether or not we can afford to buy a house. I fret about where we may move. I worry about whether or not we can pay back the debt we incurred while Bo was in school. I question getting involved in groups in our part of town since we may not stay long. I stress about where MJ would go to school if we move. Choking....choking....choking. Not thriving...thriving...thriving. While I am wrapped up in calculating every inch of my future, I am making my mind and heart weary.

Pray for me that I will jump into some good soil...weed free soil...a place where I can see the light and experience joy in the process.

Check This Out!

My friend Grace just shared this with me. It's about a 5 minute video on YouTube. Check it out and let me know what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480L