Ok the title of the book is, The Birth Order Book by Kevin Leman. The subtitle (I don't think that's the word--help me out here) is "Why you are the way you are." The Birth Order Book just doesn't grab you the same way, but when you look for it, that's the title.
Read this book. Really. We all know about birth order theory on some level (first born children are different than middles, last borns, etc.). This book not only explains some of the traits that we pick up as a result of our birth order (and the traits of our siblings and the birth order of our parents), but how relationships can click or collide based on birth order combinations. For example, there's a whole chapter on marriage and which combinations typically have fewer bumps than others. As it turns out Bo, the first born, and I (a functional baby) are a pretty smooth combination. Here I thought we had a great marriage because we are so awesome! In reality, it's because Bo is responsible for both of us! Anyway, interesting stuff.
Mom, dad, read the chapter about first born perfectionism. This chapter gave me lots of insight as to why I drive you both crazy!! Mom, I was having flash backs to our "sewing altercation" where you insisted I tear out the inseam that no one was going to see and I completely lost it. We should have read this book years ago. Dad, I know what you're going to say, "I'm not a first born." But you're the first born male so read it and check it out. Read the part about being a discouraged perfectionist. That could be you. It's definitely me. (At least in my perception...I'm open to other ideas.)
What are you? I'm taking an informal survey of my friends. I think I have a lot of first born friends actually. I'm drawn to their sense of responsibility and purpose and they must be drawn to my CRAZINESS :) Let me know what you are.
2 comments:
I heard about that book on the Today show. I will have to pick it up now that you recommended it. I agree that there are so many things that can be linked to birth order. Allen and I are both first born...Scorpios at that...supposedly a horrible mix, but we have a fabulous marriage...go figure (or rather praise the Lord!). I think we both feed off of the mutual intensity without being overbearing. It is really encouraging to be married to someone who is equally as driven. That is what attracted us to one another. It is funny because we are very similar. I think that is why we don't argue much, because we think alike:) I wonder what this book says about two first borns being married?
Hey Angela,
The book says that two first borns are likely to have a rougher time in marriage, BUT that is not always the case (as with you and Allen, thank GOD!). There are so many factors involved that birth order theory is just that--a theory, not an exact science. When you have kids, you might run into some more conflict since right now, both of you are free to be driven without encroaching the other's ability to do so. But when decisions have to be made about who does what when...that's when it gets interesting. We've been parents for 5 years now and we're still working that one out! You'll have to let me know what you think after reading the book.
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