Vacant is Better than Crazy (Part 2)

This is the story of Crazy Person #2 or "The Hard Fought Battle of the Weed."

Our apartments are not fancy. The buildings are 20 years old and starting to show their age. We still have some original appliances and vinyl flooring. Our cabinets and counter tops are all original. We are a small complex with no amenities to speak of. No fitness center, no pool, no club house. We don't even have an office (which is why I can work at home with my kids). We also have this weird set up where you can only exit and enter one way onto 72nd Street, which can seem like an inconvenience until you become a U-turn master.

What I'm trying to say is that we are not going to compete with a brand new, fancy place with all the bells and whistles. If you want all that stuff, don't move here. We will never have bells or whistles.

What we do have, or what people have told me, is nice for the price. When you compare our space with others in a similar price range you will see the value. We have implemented a no-smoking, no-pets policy which greatly enhances the smell of the place. We are slowly upgrading appliances, flooring, fixtures and the like so our units look good. We are in a super convenient location relative to just about any area of Omaha, which is great for Bo in the homecare field. Whether he has to drive to Bellevue, West Omaha or Council Bluffs, it's not more than 20 minutes from home. You can sure find nicer places if you want to pay more, but if you look at places any cheaper than ours you will be entering dumpville...or roachville...or scaryville.

What does this have to do with Crazy Person #2? The point of all this explanation is that we are in the perfect price range for people starting out or starting over. Crazy Person #1 was starting over. Crazy Person #2 was starting out.

A young guy, early 20's, this was his first job and first apartment. He worked down the street, less than a 1/2 mile away at Builder's Supply. He had never rented before so he had no rental history to speak of. He had been at Builder's Supply for quite awhile and he didn't have any credit. This is one of those applicant situations where you don't have much to go on.

It was now winter and we had vacancies. What do you do? I'll tell you what we did--we took a chance.

This was the same apartment that had recently been vacated by the peeing cadet host. The guy downstairs, a very good resident by all standards, was already in a fragile state, having witnessed the peeing. As it turned out, moving Crazy Person #2 upstairs from him was about to shatter every last bit of his resolve to continue living here.

What I didn't know about Crazy Person #2 is that he had a smoking habit rivaling that of Cheech and Chong.

We have a non-smoking policy. For some reason, some people do not consider smoking weed "smoking." I would put this under the category of "Common sense is not all that common." I take some responsibility for this because up until that point I had not clarified that no smoking means no smoking of any kind whatsoever. When the reports started coming in about the smell of pot, I did go have a conversation with Crazy Person #2 about this issue where I laid out all of the things you cannot smoke inside the building. I tried to include anything I know people smoke and even a few things I've never heard of people smoking just to make the point.

Talking does not help in some cases.

Did I also mention that my children were exposed to what I would consider porn in this apartment? On furnace filter day, they were helping remove the old filters when I notice their eyes drawn to the giant poster of a woman wearing next to nothing looking like she could nurse quintuplets.

There are no rules about not hanging offensive posters on the inside of your apartment. I chalk that up as a teaching opportunity to have a conversation about objectifying women. I should thank Crazy Person #2 for providing this wonderful moment for my young boys. Thank you Crazy Person #2 from the bottom of my heart.

I know what you are thinking. We have a non-smoking policy (which Crazy Person #2 signed upon entering this contract), he is smoking, just kick him out.

Well, that sounds like a fabulous idea except that the burden of proof lies on us to show that he is smoking inside his apartment. This is harder than it seems because no one ever sees him doing it. They just smell that smell coming from somewhere. We all know where it's coming from, but can it be proven?

So we resort to calling the police. Do you know that the police can't really do anything? Maybe, just maybe if they are called soon enough and it is happening where they can tell that it is currently happening they might be able to have grounds to enter. But this never happens.

Here's where you can take action. There is usually a clause in most leases about not disturbing the quiet and peaceful enjoyment of the premises by other residents. The only problem with this is that to prove this in court you need other residents who are willing to testify that said person is disturbing their quiet and peaceful enjoyment.

Do you want to go to court with your neighbor?

This is a losing situation for landlords. Residents complain, but they really don't want to get dragged into a court of law to complain to the judge who could actually do something about it. If we give Crazy Person #2 a notice that they are in violation of their lease without any proof, he can stay and make us go to court to get an actual eviction, which we won't get if I show up with the lackluster "evidence" that people are complaining.

So I wait. I listen to complaints. I explain the legal process (which I really don't understand myself). Finally, I have someone crazy enough to offer to go to court. She is one of my long-term crazy people that I inherited from the last management and she does not care what anyone thinks of her. She does not like what she sees and you can drag her butt into court--she will be there.

This gives downstairs neighbor confidence that he too would be willing to testify. A third witness says yes, she will go too.

I have three residents who will not back down. He needs to go. We will not wait for his lease to expire. He must go now.

I deliver the letter. I explain that he can go peacefully or he can face court and get evicted. I make sure to mention that I have 3 witnesses prepared to testify against him. I am very persuasive. We do not evict many people here because persuasion is one skill I do have.

So Crazy Person #2 moves on. Another lesson learned. Vacant is better than crazy. He nearly drove away some very good residents with his antics.

Neither Crazy Person #1 nor Crazy Person #2 hold a candle to a pair of crazy people. Because when you have 2 crazy people in one small apartment, things can really go wrong. Stay tuned tomorrow for the case of "I traded my truck for a batmobile and other really classy happenings."